I’ve been thinking about this for a few days, and I am having a really hard time coming up with something. I like dogs. They’re friendly, loyal, faithful friends. They love you unconditionally, sometimes even when you hurt them. I guess maybe that’s the most prestigious animal in all God’s Kingdom, but I believe that He has a special place in Heaven for them. Sometimes I regret having dogs, because I know they’ll die before I do and I’ll miss them. So I guess that’s what I’d be if I had to be an animal other than a human.
I had a rough day yesterday. I don’t know that I really want to go into it anymore than to say that the justice system in the United States seems really messed up sometimes. Aubree made it better because she and one of the daycare workers had made a present for me. I got a little birdie. 🙂 She also made a flutterby which we’re sending to her daddy. He’ll like that. I’m still feeling the irritations of the previous day though. I even went to bed super early. I wanted to crochet, but I was so tired. This morning everything is just pissing me off. People not listening when I try to explain something, the cleaning people are completely incapable of putting my trashcan back where it belongs. How in the world does it end up across the room?? Just put it back where it goes! Couldn’t find my shoes. People drive stupid. It’s just ugh… I need an adjustment, which I was going to achieve through diet coke and chocolate. I left my wallet…. somewhere, who knows…
Also, I went to Walmart last night. I was even in a pretty decent mood. One of the cashiers looked like she was sad or tired. So I asked her how her day was going, she said it’d be better if she could go home. I felt compelled to ask her if there was anything I could pray for her for. I got “Is there anything…” out before I chickened out. Instead I asked her if there was anything I could do to make it better. I did this twice! (with another cashier…) Why couldn’t I muster up the courage to do what I was told to do. What was I afraid of? I hope I still made their day a little better, but I missed an opportunity to serve. Aubree smiled for both of them as well. But still… Ugh.
I’m hoping I can get my attitude to improve. It’s just craptastic right now.
5 Strengths I have, huh? I’d like to say I’m modest about something like this but I’m really not.
1. I’m loyal. I can be the best friend you’ve ever had.
2. I’m determined. If I say I’m going to do something, you bet your backside, it’s going to get done.
3. I like to think of myself as giving. I don’t have a lot of money, but I feel like I make up for it in areas of helping people out.
4. I’m outgoing. I’m easy to relate to. By and large, people like me. (With the possible exception of one of the daycare workers today…)
5. I fight for what I believe in. (Particularly when it comes to my child.)
Now the other stuff. I’ve been grinding my teeth so much lately. My jaw hurts! I’m trying to manage the stress. I’ve been crocheting more. That’s my main stress reliever, but because I’m stressed, my stitches are so tight and it’s warping the blanket. Hopefully no one will notice. I’m ready to get this blanket done and on it’s way. Not cause it’s not a fun pattern. it is. I’m not a huge fan of the yarn. It makes it hard to count the stitches, but that’s ok. Then I’m going to make some potholders for the church. I’m really excited about those. Right now it’s easier for me to work on small stuff rather than big stuff. This is not the point! I’m grinding my teeth. That’s the point. All the time, and it’s getting old. I have to put my cheek in between my teeth at night just so I can sleep, and I’m willing to bet that is not a great idea either. I’m not sure WHY I’m so stressed. Yes, yes, there is the whole business with Andrew, and admittedly we haven’t been getting along that well.. But I don’t know that that is all of it. I lost it with daycare yesterday. I’m about to lose it over some work things. Why is it just heaping on all right now? I dunno. I have to find a better way to manage this cause my cheeks are raw and my hands are cramping up…
This is a full on rant… But I’m hoping that I can glean something from it in the process. Maybe if I can, you can too, dear Reader.
I’m so tired of people saying something bad about someone and then turning around and being nice. This happens a LOT at work. And I’m not saying that I’m perfect of NOT doing it, but I’ve become more aware of when I do it. Like I’ve said, I really am trying to be a better person. I just don’t know why people feel the near constant need to bash people. All the time! It just makes me really sad. Especially when it’s directed at people who are 1) new and 2) extremely nice. Though we shouldn’t do it to people we don’t like either. The whole “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all.” (I’ll admit, sometimes I’m really bad about that.)
All this just makes me think “no wonder more people aren’t Christians.” They see us acting like fools and they might think “Well dang! I should just stay athiest/agnostic/whateverIam and be a nice person, rather than become a Christian and think I’m better than everyone.” It just makes me think of what we’re learning about in church right now. Our preacher has talked A LOT about accountability. He said that he even had/has (I can’t remember if it was present or past tense) an accountability partner. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone like that when I say something rude or insensitive… Oh wait… My mom does that. Yay! Anyway, all jokes aside. He also talked about judging others. He said that the Bible doesn’t say not to judge others. It says to not judge nonbelievers because “They know not what they do.” (Brilliant, right!) But that we are definitely supposed to hold other believers accountable. I don’t think that is supposed to be used in the way I would angrily use it currently. (Shut up and get away from my office! Is pretty much how that would come out right now.) In holding myself more accountable though, you betcha, I’m going to hold others around me accountable as well. I’m not going to do it in a high and mighty way, and not in a “so I can report you to God and you won”t know I’ve done it” type of way either. I’m reporting you to yourself. You have been warned.
*The views expressed in this blog are soley mine. They are not the views of my preacher, church, or mother. If I have taken something out of context, I’m happy to be corrected and correct it here.
And just for fun evidenciary (I find that I’m not sure of the correct spelling of that….) support:
Matthew 18: 15-17
“If your brother sints, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you so that at the testimony of two or three witnesses ever matter may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector.”
And just because all of us could use some reminding sometimes.
James 3: 5-6, 8-10
“SO too the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it has great pretensions. Think how small a flame sets a huge forest ablaze. And the tongue is a fire! The tongue represents the world of wrongdoing among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the entire body and sets fire to the course of human existence – and is set on fire by hell. ”
“But no human being can subdue the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. with it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in God’s image. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. These things should not be so, my brothers and sisters. “
Oh my goodness… my sweet baby is 5 months old today. How did that happen? Wasn’t I just finding out I was pregnant yesterday? I’m so proud of her. She’s such a wonderful baby. Let’s talk about how she’s doing!
1. Favorite Foods: We’re still just doing formula mostly. She gets two bottles a day of oatmeal cereal though. We might go get a sweet potato tonight and see how that goes! I have a steamer and the baby bullet ready to go.
2. Favorite Outdoor Activities: Going for walks in the stroller.
3. Favorite Book: Winnie the Pooh, Classical Disney Stories
4. Favorite Song: Jesus Loves Me (sung by Mimi) and anything Mommy tries to sing, it’s funny!
5. Number of Teeth: Still no teeth that I’m aware of!
6. Latest Accomplishments: Rolling back to front and front to back, and using my legs to scoot herself around in a circle. She’s also smart enough that when I put her on her belly on a blanket and set her binki a little ways away from her, rather than scooting toward the binki, she’ll pull the blanket so it comes to her.
7. Words: No words, but she was “singing” along in church yesterday. So precious.
8. Favorite Store: Carter’s
9. Favorite Toys: Napolean my giraffe, Winnie the Pooh, and my purse. (Tell Mommy it’s time for my first cell phone!)
10. Favorite Games: Peek-a-boo, super baby, kissy, and being tickled.
11. Dislikes: Being in my car seat too long, and not being able to see what’s going on when we’re out and about.
12. Loves: Snuggling with Mommy, my new purse, being kissed, being in social situations when I can watch what is going on, and rolling all over.
13. Favorite Animals: My puppies, Seamus and Lola
14. She looks so proud of herself when she rolls. She’s not much of an ambi roller though. She pretty much just goes to the left. Maybe I can get her going to the right here soon. It’s so cute too. She gets so excited sometimes and she just kicks her little legs! Not both of them at the same time. She kicks one, then the other, then the other and so on. I love seeing her so excited. Yesterday, as I was getting ready for church, just as I was almost done, after playing for about an hour, she dozed off. I put my hand on her tummy to wake her. She smiled in her sleep, then opened her eyes and smiled even bigger. She’s so precious. She is getting a little bit of separation anxiety I think. If I pass her off, she gets kind of a panicked look on her face and reaches out for me. (I love that!! Not the panicked part, the wanting to be with me part.) She had a good evening last night. I was talking on the phone with her great grandmother and she was sitting in my lap playing with her sheepie. Man, she was having a GOOD time. Fell asleep before bath time though. Oops! Well, she’ll get one tonight. She has a weight check this week. If she hasn’t gained weight (though I think she has!) I’m going to be so upset. I’m trying not to worry, but I can’t help it. I’ve been painfully aware of her weight since she was born. She lost A LOT in the hospital. I realize she came out at 7 lb. 9 oz probably because I had been on IV fluids for 27 hours. Still, I can’t help but worry. I guess we’ll see what happens!
Hmm. I wonder what it meant by this. Does it mean weaknesses in character, or resolution, or just general weaknesses?? I dunno.
1. Like most girls, one of my weaknesses has to be listed as chocolate. I can’t turn that stuff down!
2. Like any mother, my daughter is one of my weaknesses. I’d do anything for her.
3. My husband. My husband is one of my weaknesses. He asks me to do something, I find a way to do it for him. Doesn’t matter if I’m mad at him, or if he’s not here. I’d beg, borrow, and steal to make sure that stupid kid was happy.
4. Bugs. They freak me out. Same goes for snakes. Mostly any creepy crawly thing.
5. Movies/TV shows that make me cry. It’s pretty embarrassing.
Oh this should be exciting.
I wake up at 6:05, but this is after my alarm has gone off every 10 minutes since 5:45. I check the baby, go get in the shower. I take really long showers, much to the irritation of almost everyone I know. I get out of the shower, look at my watch and wonder why I didn’t take a shorter shower. I get dressed, feed and water the dogs, make lunch, do hair, brush teeth, put watch and bracelet on. Those are 2 of the 4 main pieces of jewelry I wear, the others are my rings that I never take off. I only mention it because my watch and my bracelet are part of me. I pretty much don’t go anywhere without them. I tried to get married in my watch, but no one would let me… Then I wake the baby up, wondering how doing the things I have done have taken me so long and hope that I’m not late! We change diaper, kiss, play a little, and get dressed. Then I make her a bottle and we sit down and watch Golden Girls while she eats. Then I make breakfast, get everything in the car, and head to daycare. Once I have dropped her off, I head to work. I usually do my make up at stop lights in the car. I’ve had to take a new route because I hate the construction. I get to work (usually a few minutes late, which bugs me), put my lunch in the fridge, get some water and get going. Work, work, work. When I get off, I go get Aubree, we run any necessary errands and then head home. When we get home, we play some, practice her rolling over. She’s a rollin’ everywhere now! Then we have a bottle, every other day she has a bath, we get ready for bed. Some nights we even have time for a story, then I put her to bed. After I put her to bed, I usually have really good intentions of getting stuff done. Really, I just end up playing on facebook or pinterest, watching big bang theory, eating dinner and reading. I do get the dishwasher loaded when I need to. I also feed the puppies. Around 10, I get in bed, watch Golden Girls or read some more, go to sleep around 11. I resolve to get up earlier in the morning… and hardly ever do.