Better watch out y’all. This might get crazy.
1. Grammar! People have terrible grammar. And it’s not just young people. It’s older people too. It’s like they have forgotten and they see what the younger people are saying and adopt it. It irritates me. There, they’re, their are three different words and all have different meanings. “There is cheese in the fridge.” “They‘re going to a movie.” “It’s their red car in the parking lot.” To and too are also different. “I’m going to the store.” “Can I go, too?” Your and you’re. Oh this one gets me. I might let “to” and “too” go, possibly (though not likely) “there”, “they’re”, and “their”, never ever “your” and “you’re.” “Your” shows possession of an object. “Your car”, “your book”, “your computer”. “You’re” is the contraction of “you” and “are”. Why is this so complicated! I could go on and on. “Than” vs “then”, “affect” vs “effect”, “insure” vs “ensure”. You get the point.
2. Swaying when standing in one spot. I spent too many years in theater to (see that, the appropriate uses of “too” and “to”) be around people who just sway back and forth. Now, I’ll do it when I’m holding my baby because she likes the motion, or if someone else is holding her, because I should be holding her, and it just makes me a little nervous. Which is the key to the swaying thing. People who sway all the time are nervous. Calm down! My Gramma Bonnie used to tell me “Light somewhere!” That’s what I want to tell the swayers.
3. Being a telemarketer (well there’s enough to stop right there, but there is more to this statement) and being inarticulate. If you can’t speak articulately, no I’m not going to buy whatever it is you’re sellin. Again, spent too many years in theater and speech to let that one go by.
4. Complaining about someone doing something, and then turning around and doing the same thing. I think that one is pretty self explanatory.
5. Text speak. That probably goes hand in hand with grammar for me. (I thought of another one. “Could/would of.” No, that is incorrect. It is “could/would HAVE.” The contraction of that is could’ve/would’ve.”) I h8 whn ppl thnk tht ths is the crrct way 2 tlk whn txting. U knw wht I mean. (That was really hard for me to type out…) Just spell it out. It’ll take a lot less time to decipher.
6. Bad spelling. I’m sorry, it’s really not that hard. I get typos, but when your spelling is just generally atrocious, then you can’t blame it on typos.
7. Strangers touching my baby without my permission. Get out of my personal space.
8. People trying to “help” me put the baby in the Moby wrap. I don’t need help. I got this one down, your hands are just in the way. I will rudely step away from you until *I* have her securely placed in the wrap.
9. When someone calls you, you miss the call, call them right back and they don’t answer.
10. Tiny text on webpages. It just makes everything look cluttered.