Empowerment

You know what is empowering for me right now?  A little black dress and some ridiculous red high heels.  Why are they ridiculous?  Mostly because they’re the prettiest shoes I’ve EVER owned and I didn’t need to buy them, but they make me feel SO good!  Shoes!  They have like… magical powers!  They make me tall, they make my legs look good, they even make my ankles look good!  I love them!  And then there’s the little black dress that accentuates my curves and makes me look feminine and skinny.  This dress (and fabulous shoes) also made me realize something else.  I have felt really uncomfortable in my clothes lately.  I knew my pants were too big, but I today I figured out that my shirts are too big too.  I’ve been fighting with my shirt. all. day!  And I couldn’t figure out why.  It’s cause it’s too big.  I just thought it was stretched out.  (Well, it is now from me tugging on it trying to get it into place all day… which didn’t help it feeling too big.)  But it is indeed, too big.  That never even occurred to me! So that is empowering to me as well.

I’ve seen a lot of the posts lately about women showing off their post baby bodies, and while I stop and read them, I have to wonder why they’re all coming in waves right now.  Maybe it’s because I’m friends with more mommies than not these days.  I’ve seen a lot of the “You’re the best imperfect mom ever” articles, including one written by a man, and I just wonder why all the sudden?  I appreciate them, mostly, but on the other hand they make me kind of sad, too.  Why are we in such competition with each other.  (Which I have said from the beginning.)  Just live and let live, people.  Mother the way you want to mother!  I personally mother in a way that I do what I think is best at the time and either think “Man that really worked,” or “Crap, I really could have done that better,” later.  I feel like Aubree will turn out fine.  Just like I have always felt.  I didn’t read the manuals, or overanalyze the books.  I’m just flying by the seat of my pants pretty much. So far Aubree is walking, chattering, eating, drinking, we could probably do without the need for a pacifier… I think she’s going to make it.

Being able to finally stand up for myself is empowering as well.  That’s not to say that there’s still not some stuff I keep to myself.  I just think it’s about picking battles.  Some things are important, and some are decidedly not.  I stand up when I think it’s important, and I keep quiet when it’s not, or when I believe that voicing my opinion will do more harm than good.  I’m a fan of this new, sureofherself Stephenie.  She kind of rocks.  I’m sure there are other things I find empowering, but those are the big ones right now.