My Name

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This post seems to be hard for me to put out there and I’m not sure why.  My name is legally all changed back to Stephenie Jones.  Driver’s license, social security, at my workplace.  I still need to go talk to my bank, but the super important stuff is back to Jones.  Right now, I have the name that I want to develop my professional identity under.  But it makes me kind of mad that I had to do all this.  I’m not even mad at the ex.  I don’t care about him, and haven’t for a while.  I care more about my name!  I changed it, thinking that I was doing the right thing when I got married.  That’s what I was supposed to do right?  Change my name.  I left Jones behind and that was hard for me!  Really hard!  And I know about one other person who understands how I feel about it, and that’s my sister.  I even kept my middle name and just let my maiden name go.  I let something I was incredibly proud of go… for what?  Tradition??  Lord have mercy that seems dumb to me now.  I don’t really have much more to say about the subject, just that I’m back to me.  My name is the name that’s on my BA diploma and my Tech ring, it’s the name I was born with.  At least if I die tomorrow (hopefully not) I’ll be buried as a Jones.

 

*Disclaimer – This is not to say that if I ever remarry, I won’t take on his name in some way.  I’ll just find a way to keep Jones as well.  I don’t really feel comfortable letting it go again.

 

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About stepheniejones

I'm currently an advisor in the College of Education at Texas Tech. I have a sweet baby girl named Aubree. I'm currently getting my Master's in Counselor Education with an emphasis on Community Counseling. I feel really called to be a counselor. I'm really excited! I enjoy reading, crocheting, good music, and good friends.

2 responses »

  1. So I have to say that your post here makes a ton of sense to me because I feel the same way. When I got married, I did not realize just how much I did NOT want to change my name. I didn’t want to admit that to Justin because I knew that he would be hurt by my opinion on the subject. So I rode it out for over nine months… using our general situation at the time of our marriage and our hectic life as my excuse to stay a “Wilkerson” for as long as I could. Then, after our lives started to level out and everything wasn’t so hectic and stressful, Justin started pressing me to change my name and it forced me to think about what was really holding me back. I had been Ashley Wilkerson for 27 years… how could I possibly just leave that behind and become Ashley Lawson overnight? I felt, in a sense, that I was betraying myself and my family by leaving the name behind. In the end, I would have to say that marriage probably wasn’t enough to change my name… not because I don’t love Justin or his name and family… but because tradition really isn’t enough to do something I don’t want to do. Burklee was born a Lawson while I was a Wilkerson. Having a child out of wedlock caused several unintended and embarrassing situations for both Justin and me. The hospital wanted to constantly make sure Justin was, indeed, the biological father. Burklee’s name could not be represented as Lawson in the hospital because my last name was not Lawson. It was a complete mess and I vowed that if there ever was another child… we would all have the same name and not have to go through all that again. So, almost 10 months after being married… I made the first steps of the name change. I still say my name is Ashley Wilkerson sometimes, without even thinking about it and have to correct myself. It’s still so weird… and my mom just doesn’t want to accept the fact that my name is different now either. There are some small things that still have Ashley Wilkerson on them… and I had to order my Texas Tech Transcript the other day… under the name of Wilkerson. It felt good to know Wilkerson isn’t completely dead…. If Ashley Wilkerson-Lawson wasn’t so dang long… (sorry to take up so much room here… I needed to say… that name change is probably the most challenging thing I’ve had to ever go through… and I were to find myself an unmarried woman in the future… I would do the exact same thing)

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