“What did you do to that baby!?”

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I’m in a bad mood, and this seemed to kind of kick off the bad mood, partially, or maybe my anger is misdirected.  Either way, I’m a little miffed.  Also, this isn’t directed at anyone in particular, but if you have said something along these lines, maybe you should stop and consider how it’s making any poor frazzled mother feel.

All I did all weekend, it seems like, was get on to Aubree.  “AUBREE! Get out of that.”  “Aubree, don’t do that.”  “Aubree, stop whining, I’ll get your food in just a second.”  “Aubree, get out of the box.”  “Aubree, get away from the plug!”  “Aubree, why did you just start crying when you were laughin 2.5 seconds ago?!?!?!”  Seriously.  I could not make that kid happy to save my life this weekend.  Yes I know it’s not all about making her happy, but damn if she had been happy at some point, maybe I wouldn’t be so cranky today. I don’t like getting on to my kid.  I don’t like leaving her to throw tantrums in the middle of the floor.  But you know what??  When I walk off, she gets the point that her little fit isn’t working the way she wants it to.  So when well meaning people walk up to me and either try to 1) take her from me or 2) ask ME what I did to her, it gets under my skin just a little.  First, don’t try to rescue her.  I am trying to get her to understand that she can’t behave a certain way and validating her, just makes her realize she can go to someone else when she’s in trouble.  NO.  She either comes to me, or gets left in the floor to throw her fit.  (While I watch her like a hawk, trying to pretend I’m not watching… and also while my heart is breaking.) Secondly, asking what I did doesn’t help.  Someday she’ll be old enough to play on that.  “Mom did…”  No, mom did not.  Aubree did.  Aubree threw a fit, Aubree was in the box when she wasn’t supposed to, Aubree was pulling on the plugs, or in the kitchen while I was trying to cook, or pulling my hair, or yanking my glasses off my face.  I am teaching her NOW to take responsibility for herself because a whole bunch of people her age aren’t going to know how to do that because a whole bunch of people MY age don’t know how to do it.  Thank God my mom was a hard ass when I was growing up.

The best part of my disciplinary weekend was Aubree having a melt. down. in Sears.  She threw her cow, and then her binki when I wouldn’t give the cow back, so I took them both away.  And she proceeded to freak out.  Crying loud, trying to get out of her stroller, arching her back (pet. peeve!! of mine), and just generally being a brat.  Some women were standing behind me in line.  Normally people say “Aww poor baby….”  No!  Not poor baby!  Poor mama!  It’s not like I enjoy hearing her scream or see her face turn red! They looked at me with sympathy, and rather than letting them say “Poor baby” I explained what she had done and that I was holding the binki hostage.  You know what they said??  They said “Good for you, stay strong!”  I nearly cried right in the middle of the store.  So after a little bit longer with the crying, I got down on her level, and I told her if she’d be really good, and really still and really quiet, I’d give her the pacifier back.  I asked her if she’d be a good girl, and she nodded and sniffled and so I gave it back.  She was a perfect angel the rest of our outing.  Mom win, I think.

My point in all this is, I know people mean well… but I don’t need help.  I got it.  If I need help, I’ll ask.  Except I won’t… so it’s probably best to just leave me alone when my kid is melting down cause you’re likely to get “the look.”

 

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About stepheniejones

I'm currently an advisor in the College of Education at Texas Tech. I have a sweet baby girl named Aubree. I'm currently getting my Master's in Counselor Education with an emphasis on Community Counseling. I feel really called to be a counselor. I'm really excited! I enjoy reading, crocheting, good music, and good friends.

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