Wide Eyed Wonder


Sometimes I just stare at Aubree in wide eyed wonderment.  She’s just so beautiful.  I know most parents think that about their children, and of course they’re right.  Aubree just seems to garner a lot of attention from EVERYONE.  I worry about it too.  I’m afraid that someday it will go to her head, and I cannot have her ending up like a vapid, narcissistic, diva.  She has such pretty (curly, now) hair.  It’s not just one color.  It’s a bunch of colors all at once.  Depending on light, what she’s wearing, etc.  Sometimes it’s a little blonde, others it’s brown, and sometimes it’s even pretty red!  Her eyes are the same way.  Sometimes they look brown, if she’s wearing blue, they’re blue, same with purple and green.  She is just a wonder to me.  She seems to be right handed, and prefers the color yellow.  I love it.  She’s mostly pretty happy.  The last week or so has been a little difficult.  She went almost 12 months with no teeth at all and now they’re all coming in at the same time.  Poor thing.

I’m just always in awe of her.  I wonder if she and I will grow out of that.  I hope not.  Although, that could make disciplining hard.  Which brings me to my next set of thoughts.

Homegirl loves throwing stuff.  Throwing her pacifier, her cup, her food.  I do not like this phase.  It’s not like the spitting out of the binki constantly, and constantly having to replace it.  She does this intentionally.  I don’t know how to get her to stop.  She just looks at me and laughs if I use my stern mom voice.  My mom must have superpowers, cause I feel like she has had her bluff in on me for a while.  I wonder if that’s a developed thing.  Either way, it is less than not effective at all.  I try taking whatever she has thrown away.  That’s not super effective when I’m in public because she just cries really loudly and hard and I feel like people are staring at me.  Although mostly I don’t care.  I’m not ignoring my child’s cries.  She has to learn how to act in public as well, right?  To me, logically, that means taking her out in public and teaching her.  I dunno.  I worry about raising her on my own.  What if she turns out to be a spoiled, holy terror.  I just can’t handle that…

Did I mention her hair was curly.  Oh mylanta!  It is so cute!!!


About stepheniejones

I'm currently an advisor in the College of Education at Texas Tech. I have a sweet baby girl named Aubree. I'm currently getting my Master's in Counselor Education with an emphasis on Community Counseling. I feel really called to be a counselor. I'm really excited! I enjoy reading, crocheting, good music, and good friends.

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