It’s so amazing to me that I can have such a fantastic evening on Friday and then on Saturday it gets all shot to sh…. well you know. How can he still have such a hold on me that he can control my emotions without even lifting a finger?! Really this is just a bump in the road. It doesn’t keep anything from proceeding, I still have a lawyer and he still doesn’t. I am still out and free and he’s still locked up. I’m still the one who gets to spend everyday learning and growing with Aubree and he doesn’t.
Because of this “control” he seems to have over me… I woke up deep in the darkness this morning. It was covering me head to toe. And it was apparently apparent all over my face when I walked into church this morning. Fortunately God was talking through my preacher this morning and said everything I needed to hear about enduring and leaning on God in times of trouble. Yes my life is going to be hard sometimes. Yes I’m going to have more than I can handle. But I’m going to walk with God. I’m going to let him comfort me in those times. I’m glad my crisis happened on a Saturday and I could get into my church on Sunday to feel better. I’m glad that I’m provided a place that can so lift the darkness set upon me by the actions of others. I’m glad that I don’t have to suffer alone or let it consume me.
After church, I felt uplifted and better in my soul. Hopefully people could tell that the darkness was lifted off of me. In a bit we’re off to a birthday party, get to see my sister and bestest friends. It’s gonna be great. 🙂