Texas Hill Country Road

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What?  I don’t live in the Hill Country?  I know that.  It’s a metaphor.  Texas Hill Country roads (for those of you who don’t know) are full of hills (hence “hill country”).  There have been lots of ups and downs in my life lately.  I have talked extensively with my counselor, preacher, parents, sister, close friends and I’ve come to an important decision.  I’m sure many of you have noticed a change in my last name on Facebook.  Andrew and I are getting a divorce.  I don’t want anyone to misunderstand anything.  I don’t regret deciding to stay with him at the beginning of his troubles.  He needed someone.  He still needs someone, but he needs himself more than he needs me.  He needs to mature and I can’t continue to make his life a priority over mine and Aubree’s.  I have reached a point in our relationship where there is more bad than good for me and I can’t keep on that way.  I can’t keep owning his mistakes as my fault for one reason or another.  They’re not my fault.  They’re his fault.

The decision to get a divorce is mine and I’m the one doing all the work for it.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t love Andrew.  Quite the opposite in fact.  I love him very much.  I love Aubree more though.  And she deserves more than an unhappy momma all the time.  I’ve made good strides the last year and I don’t think that I can keep them up if I’m continually worn down.  I need to move on and make my life what I want it to be and quit focusing on what it was supposed to have been.  I am at peace with this decision.  Andrew will get there some day and hopefully we can do what is right for our daughter as parents.  But for now, I have to do what is right for me (therefore what is right for her) to be happy.  I don’t feel selfish or guilty about it anymore.  It’s time to reclaim the old Stephenie!!

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About stepheniejones

I'm currently an advisor in the College of Education at Texas Tech. I have a sweet baby girl named Aubree. I'm currently getting my Master's in Counselor Education with an emphasis on Community Counseling. I feel really called to be a counselor. I'm really excited! I enjoy reading, crocheting, good music, and good friends.

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