Well I was going to daycare to see Aubree on my lunch break cause I’m having a shittastic day. Unfortunately she’s asleep. Well I really shouldn’t think of it that way. It’s good that she is napping cause she never does at daycare. Haha. And even though I’m sad I didn’t get to hold her, I’m glad she’s peaceful.
I talk sometimes about my duct tape. What I’m talking about when I say that is my duct tape for my soul. Sometimes it gets a little broken, as we all do. I usually say it is my Winnie the Pooh DVD. Last time I said it was wine and chocolate. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t turn any of those down at the moment. But really, it’s that sweet, sleeping little girl at daycare. Sometimes I worry that I put too much pressure on her to fix me. I try not to, but I’m afraid she will resent me one day for being so broken.
Just watching her sleep today though helped tremendously. She’s everything. I hope I’m always able to let her know that. And that she doesn’t have to put up with people treating her badly, or talking bad about her. She needs to know that she always ALWAYS deserves the best. Even when life is hard.
Forgive the typos, I did this on my phone. It’s not elegant or well thought out. It’s just me right at this moment.