More Time


This is totally a me thing.  It has NOTHING to do with anyone in particular (this time).  It frustrates the tar out of me to hear/see people say things like “I can’t wait for school to start again and so I can send my kids back.”  Or for people to be so constantly focused on doing things away from their kids.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that I never get frustrated with my baby.  But it’s not actually WITH her, it’s with MY  ineptitude as a mother.  Sometimes I just don’t understand what she needs.  And her crying is just her saying “WHY DON’T YOU GET IT YET!!!”  I’d love to spend more time with her, but that’s not an option for me because, well I kinda have to work.  And it sucks.  I love my job!  But I’d rather be a full time mommy and some days, knowing that I’ll NEVER EVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS get to do that eats up parts of my soul.  (It actually eats up a lot of my soul.)  So I have a hard time with people being so cavalier about sending their kids away from them for the day, especially when they don’t work.  Yup, I judge them.  Enjoy your time with your children!  They won’t be children long, and all you’re teaching them by being so eager to send them away is 1) that you don’t know how to make time for them 2) they’re not important enough to make time for and 3) that’s how they should act when they’re parents.  I don’t even like going to movies anymore because it means I have to be away from my daughter.  I’d much rather do something we can do together.  She’s the most important thing in the world for me.  I hope when she’s my age, she doesn’t feel like I put her on the back burner for anything.  I hope that I can be the kind of mommy she wants to be some day.


That’s all.  End incoherent rant.


About stepheniejones

I'm currently an advisor in the College of Education at Texas Tech. I have a sweet baby girl named Aubree. I'm currently getting my Master's in Counselor Education with an emphasis on Community Counseling. I feel really called to be a counselor. I'm really excited! I enjoy reading, crocheting, good music, and good friends.

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