Weee

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Yup!  Weeeeee.  Just don’t know what else to say about it.  I kinda feel like I’ve been through the ringer this week.  My daughter has been sick, I’m sick myself, I’ve flown off the handle at my husband, class is kicking my butt, but in a good way.  It’s so captivating that I can hardly stand it when it’s over, but I feel a lot of pressure to do well.  Not from anyone in particular.  Just from myself.  I’m gonna make it though, I’ve decided.  Always a good decision to make.

That being said. Counseling is going to be really hard for me.  I’m a fixer.  I always try to fix people’s problems or situations.  I want to be able to give them the answers to their problems, or just take it into my own hands and do it for them.  I’m quickly learning that that isn’t want counseling is about.  It’s not about fixing people.  It’s about helping them, or walking with them while they figure out how to fix themselves.  I can’t do it for them.  They have to make the cognitive (aha! cognitions, learned something today. The four main realms in which we live.  Affective, cognitive, behavioral, and spiritual… anyway) decision to fix themselves.

I’ve always been a fixer (or a breaker… I’m either gonna fix you, or I’m going to make sure I ruin you…I’m a terrible person, oi!).  So, I don’t think it will be easy for me to stop trying to fix things.  I’ve destroyed many a relationship trying to “fix” people, or fix the things in their life.  I’m sorry y’all….  I truly didn’t realize that it wasn’t my job.  You’d think after all the years with my sweet husband, that I’d’ve learned that, but no.  How do I transform myself to walk with people and be with them when they come to their own conclusions, rather than finding that conclusion for them?  I don’t know.  It’s going to be difficult.

I’m so loving this class.  It challenges me every day.  Even on the weekends.  I feel like I’m always learning something new.  I want so much to do well.  There are other things that I feel the need to write down about this experience so far, but that’ll have to wait till next week.

As far as Aubree goes!  She’s feeling better it seems.  She’s really congested, but her cough is productive so that’s good.  She’s growing, growing, growing.  She is 23 inches, and 11 lbs 1 oz.  She has so much personality.  I think she’s going to take after me in that way (yes, I’m a narcissist and delusionally self confident).  Mom noticed yesterday that she seems to be close to rolling over.  She’s so right.  I set her on her back in her crib, I went to go make her bottle and came back and she was on her side.  AWESOME!  She’s got some strength in those little legs too.  But she always has.  She’s so special and sweet.  I think she’s destined for something great.  Course, anything she does will be great.  Hopefully she’ll survive my ineptitude!  😛

Anyway, that’s all for today!  🙂

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About stepheniejones

I'm currently an advisor in the College of Education at Texas Tech. I have a sweet baby girl named Aubree. I'm currently getting my Master's in Counselor Education with an emphasis on Community Counseling. I feel really called to be a counselor. I'm really excited! I enjoy reading, crocheting, good music, and good friends.

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